Does Infidelity Deserve a Second Chance in Marriages?
A marriage is union of two people, where they exchange vows to cherish and love each other, to stand by in times of happiness and in times of sorrow. But does a marriage still stand after these vows are broken? Are there any reasons that compel one to stand by an unfaithful partner? Surely, a stupid mistake, a thoughtless deviation from a relationship cannot mean that it’s all over, or can it? If you are someone who has been at the receiving end, we know that you are standing at a juncture; it will not be easy to decide whether your partner deserves a second chance or not. Discern if your relationship is taking more out of you than you are prepared to give, if it is, then just maybe it is time to cut your losses and start over.
Examine your relationship. Is this the first time that your spouse has strayed, or is it just another episode of a long stretched out drama? Have you been covering up their infidelity? When a marriage suffers the shock of betrayal it can only survive if the guilty partner recognizes and takes responsibility for his treachery. They have to accept their breach of trust and know it was wrong. Not just that, they should also acknowledge that their motives, reasons and impulses surrounding the incident were also in the wrong. A positive change is only possible if the guilty spouse is willing to make amendments. This sounds a lot easier than it actually is. People cannot change that easily. If this incident is not the first and only one, there is a very small chance that your partner will change for the better. Here is a tip to help you see the true picture. If your spouse comes up with one excuse after another for his misconduct or blames you for it. Know that they do not value the relationship the way you do. Your guilty spouse would never be able to pull your marriage out of this dilemma. Ask yourself if your relationship with this person is worth fighting for?
If your spouse is sorry, make sure that they are sorry for the right reason, not because they got caught red handed. Marriage is considered a big step because it demands commitment to one person. It requires one to realize that life is not one good thing after another. Life is ups and downs, good days and bad days, laughter and tears, and when you get married you ask someone to share all that with you. It is your duty then to fulfill the responsibilities that come with that institution, towards your spouse. When you are blessed with children you reassess your priorities. There is no room for selfishness and self indulgence in your new world. Understanding this helps make the transition to a more responsible spouse. An unfaithful spouse needs to realize that cheating is a selfish act; feeling guilty means that they know what they did was wrong and regret their actions. However, if they are more concerned about being caught, then you have an entirely different problem on hand.
Decide only after careful consideration whether your relationship deserves a second chance. Weigh your strength and weaknesses; can you recover from another such incident? If you do decide to start over and push yourself to trust the same person, who so blatantly cheated on you, make sure that you are resilient enough. Watch out for yourself when dealing with habitual cheaters because you don’t want to be left emotionally crippled and scared to trust another for the rest of your life. Marriage loses its sanctity for such morally corrupt individuals. Chances and forgiveness means nothing and sooner than later the marriage dissolves. When this happens you would need all your strength and determination to get on with your life. Be thankful for the chance that life has offered you again. Remember, time will heal your wounds and you will learn to trust anew.
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